Yasu's 'What Mai is Not Allowed to Do' List
by Sniperrolf
Summary: Yasu decides to write a list of all the things that Mai can't do. Much to Mai's dismay.
1. Chapter 1

Hello - Sniperrolf from Final Fantasy VII Land.

I have been wanting to write a Ghost Hunt fanfiction for some time now. But I could not think of any story idea. Then I read a story for Final Fantasy VII, called '50 Things I'm Not Allowed To Do: By Reno.' From the author 'Asuka Neko'.

Then I said, "That would be a funny story for Mai... he, he, he..."

Enjoy. :)

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><p>Yasu sighed, looking up at the wall. I was on the other side of the room and looked over at him. He had been sitting on a desk chair typing on his laptop for the past 20 minutes.<p>

I finally decided to ask, "What are you doing?"

He looked up at me and said, "Oh, nothing much, just writing everything all the SPR members say you can't do."

I had no comment to that. "Uh..." I said walking over to him, "Why me? Why don't you write all the things 'you' can't do?"

"Mai, I was done with my list in 5 minutes. But then I started to write one for you. And it kept going, and going, and going."

"Okay then... Can I read it?" I asked.

"Of course you can. I needed a break anyway," he said getting up. I sat down and started reading the list.

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**1: Mai is not allowed to go in Naru's office if he is not present. Ever.**

I don't. I get dragged in by Madoka.

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**2: Mai is not allowed to make strong, undrinkable tea.**

I forgot about that one... Naru had to go and wash his mouth out.

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**3: Mai is not allowed to have pocket knives.**

Let's not even recall that memory...

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**4: Mai is not allowed to go on Youtube.**

He he. I got internet memes stuck in Monk's head.

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**5: Mai is not allowed to use chat speak at work.**

Oh, that was a fun day. No one could find out what I was saying until they looked it up.

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**6: Mai is not allowed to sing the Ghost Buster theme song at work.**

That song, _really, really, _annoys Naru.

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**7: Mai is not allowed to read Shakespeare.**

Oh yeah... I started to try to speak like it.

"_Hello thouy," I said._

"_Mai it's ' thou ' not 'thouy'," John said._

"_It niee?"_

"_Na."_

"_I speak of it wrong?"_

"_Mai. Stop..."_

Heh, Heh.

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**8: Mai is not allowed to control the thermostat.**

It ended up either really hot. Or really cold. And a big electricity bill.

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**9: Mai cannot bring her video games to work.**

Uh...

_"Mai make some tea," Naru said._

"_Okay, one minute," I said not looking away from my DS._

_Naru did not get his tea until an hour later when he came into the room and said, "Mai... Where... is my tea?"_

Yeah... No comment.

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**10: Mai cannot tell the address of SPR to her friends.**

That day ended with seven girls all around Naru, asking for jobs. And Naru looking for a new location for the SPR office.

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**11: Do not let Mai carry Ayako's china plates.**

Err...let's just say that when she went to get them out, they were glued.

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**12: Mai cannot make fun of Monk's stuff.**

"_What is that?" I asked._

"_It's an eight-track," Monk replied._

"_Uh, what?"_

"_An eight-track, it was what they used to listen to music in the 70's._

"_Wow Monk. You are really old..." Yasu said, walking in, Mai nodding in agreement._

"_Okay, remind me, why did I invite you two to my house again?" _

Yasu still goes on about that...

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**13: Mai is not allowed to let Madoka in Naru's office, especially when she is carrying something.**

And that is the main reason I can't go into Naru's office...

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**14: Mai cannot try to draw a manga of their adventures of Ghost Hunting.**

Oh, come on! That was a great idea! Only problem is I'm not good at drawing, Urado did not look all that scary all of a sudden...

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**15: Mai is not allowed to use matches.**

Err... That day started with Ayako setting up her exorcism, and me helping by lighting the candles. And ended with Ayako's dress burnt black, and something laughing at us in the background...

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**16: Mai is not allowed to try to have a foreign accent.**

I don't know why Naru took offense to me doing a British accent...

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**17: Mai is not allowed to use Lin's computer. Ever.**

Oh, come on... It was just one website. That gave his computer a virus that his anti-virus scanner did not pick up, until it was too late...

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**18: Mai (And Yasu) are not allowed to make fun of Monk's record player.**

"_Monk... you really... need to come out of the 80's..." Yasu said._

"_Shut up, you just don't know how cool this was back then," Monk replied._

"_Monk, I'm sure it was very cool back then, It's very old now," I said._

"_Kinda like you," Yasu said._

And so they were never invited to Monk's house again...

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**19: Mai cannot change the overhead light bulbs.**

"_Mai. The overhead light bulb blew out in here, come and change it," Naru said in his office._

"_Okay," I replied._

_I came in and reached for the light bulb._

"_I can't reach," I said._

"_Then get a chair," he said, not looking away from his computer._

_I went and got a chair, and tried again._

"_I still can't reach!"_

"_Then get a ladder."_

"_We don't have a ladder!"_

"_Mai, move," Lin said behind me. Which scared me so much that I fell off the chair._

_Lin moved the chair and took the light bulb out, and then took the one that was in my hands. He put it in, and walked away._

"_Is he still mad at me for killing his computer?" I asked, looking at Naru._

"_He will be until he gets a new one."_

Yeah... I did not think Lin was so picky about computers. He still does not have one...

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**20: Mai can't cook anything that's too hard.**

"_What is that?" Monk asked._

"_It's a bundt cake, Monk," Yasu said._

"_It's angel food cake you two!" I yelled._

"_Oooh," the two said together. _

"_What did you do to that poor cake, Mai?" Ayako said._

_*.*_

"So what do you think Mai?" Yasu said behind me.

"I think you're a jerk."

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><p>Hoped you liked it :)<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Read the A/N at the bottom of the page to read why it took me SO LONG to update.

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><p>The next day.<p>

I came into work to see Monk at Yasu's computer. Laughing, a lot. With Yasu beside him smiling, I already knew what he was reading.

I just ignored him until I heard him say:

"Okay, well, here's one." Monk started typing something on the keyboard, I looked over and read what he wrote.

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**21: Mai (AND YASU) is not** **allowed to call Monk an old man.**

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Yasu pushed Monk over and wrote: **But we will anyway. :-) **

Monk pushed Yasu back over and wrote: **Jerk :-(**

Yasu's laughed and said, "Any others?"

"Move over and let me type. I could easily add more."

"You guys are both jerks!" I yelled.

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**22: Mai is not allowed to 'try' to buy tea.**

"_Mai, can you make some tea?" Naru said. _

"_Sure," I said back._

_When I got to the kitchen to make some tea, I saw that there was not any tea left._

"_Naru, we're out," I said. _

"_Then go buy some, there's some money on the table."_

"_Okay."_

_And so I went to the store to buy some tea._

"_Which one is it?..."_

_You would not believe how many types of teas there are..._

_Later that day._

_Monk came in, not being greeted by the cheerful girl was weird._

"_Where's Mai?" Monk _s_aid_

"_She went to buy some tea," Naru said, "Uh..."_

"_What?"_

"_That was about 15 minutes ago..."_

From that day on Masako went to buy tea, I still can't tell if I'm happy with that...

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**23: Mai is not allowed to use clay.**

"_Ayako, see what I made?" I said._

"_Oh, what A cute little man," she said, looking at the figure in Mai's hand_

"_Uh..." Mai said._

"_What?"_

"_It's you..."_

Okay. So she said I was never allowed to use clay again. But her face was priceless.

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**24: Mai is not allowed to touch any of the books in Lin's room.**

Okay! So I was going to clean up a bit in Lin's office, and when I opened up one of the books and saw that it was a password book. Lin's passwords are 'Very' amusing, like: H0hoHO7Santa7, or: 666Naru666.

But before I could get any farther, Lin came in, looked at what I was holding, took the book and pushed me out.

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**25: Mai is not allowed to go on eBay and see how much everything in Monk's house is worth.**

"_Look Monk! Your record player is worth $400!"_

"_Are you on my computer?" Lin asked._

_At the same time, Monk said, "Did you take my record player?"_

"_N-no!"_

After that day Monk stop letting me come to his house, and Lin got a lock on his office door.

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**26: Mai's not allowed to call Naru Scrooge. **

He is! Every year he won't let me put up a Christmas tree! And I freeze in the office! Thanks to Naru I know how Bob Cratchit feels!

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**27: Mai is not allowed to play Luigi's Mansion.**

"_What are you playing Mai?..." Yasu_said.

"_Luigi's mansion. It's a fun game," I said, sucking up a ghost with a vacuum._

"_You know... I kind of want to know where did the sucking-up-ghosts-with-a-vacuum-idea come from?"_

"_Gee, I don't know."_

_Luckily Naru was walking by._

"_Hey Naru! Where did the sucking-up-ghosts-with-a-vacuum first come from?"_

_Naru stopped dead, and gave Mai a look like: What? Then just shook his head and continued walking to his office._

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**28: Mai...**

***.***

"Running out of ideas Monk?" Yasu said.

"Wait, I've got one more," he said with a smile.

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**28: Mai is not allowed to use a stapler. **

THAT was not something I wanted to remember...

_I was stapling paper together while talking to Yasu. Well, I was not paying attention to what I was doing and somehow I got my finger where the staple comes out, and stabbed myself with a staple. After the shock that I stabbed myself with a STAPLE, I yelled in pain._

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"And that's about all I have," Monk said.

I just walked off muttering: Jerks...

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><p>AN

Number 28 was inspired by a true story.

Okay! Yes I did get the next part out. :) Sorry about the 'really' long wait. I was surprised at how much feedback I got for this story, thanks to all who left reviews!

The reason it took me so long to update was that I always thought the problem with these types of stories is when they continue they're sometimes not as funny anymore. So I wanted to make sure that all the numbers in the list at least made you smile, without making Mai look like a girl who can't count to ten.

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Answers to reviews:

Make a list for everyone in SPR?

O_o I have a hard enough time making one Mai. And The only thing I could see in Naru's list would be:

**1: Naru can't use his powers.**

The end.

Yeah...

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Make background stories for the whole list?

Well, I would find that hard to write. But if anyone wants to use this list as prompts go right ahead. Just tell me if you do. :)

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And once again: Thank you all for the great reviews. :)

And if anyone has ideas, how about you leave it as a prompt and I will try to come up with a story for it.

Thanks for reading!


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